Former Speaker Dennis Hastert is going to announce his retirement from Congress on Friday. It took ya long enough! That's the thing in politics, you rarely get to go out on top. What had been a career marked by the longest Republican Speaker in history ended with a gay sex scandal with Mark Foley and a crushing defeat in the last elections.

It's almost enough to write yourself a note. Step 1. Win election in a landslide. Step 2. Announce retirement.