Scientists have moved the Doomsday clock forward to 11:55. Scientifically stating that the world is creeping closer to a cataclysmic event of nuclear or climate disaster.

The Doomsday Clock was created in 1947 when such things were actually useful to scare the public about the dangers of Russia bombing us into oblivion. Does anybody even remember the Cold War? The clock was pushed forward this time because scientists around the globe feel that George Bush's incompetence and unchecked power have reached critical mass. Plus, Germany farted.

Doomsday, Schmoomsday. There are a million things that could lead to a cataclysmic event wiping out millions of people. My favorite scenario is giant asteroid. That would be some scary shit. Be afraid of North Korea? Whatever.