We really like Texas Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson. He sent us (and everybody else) a request to publicize his fundraising efforts to build Internet Cafe's over in Iraq for our soldiers. Being such an Internet junkie and true patriot myself I decided to see if I could chat up a soldier about what their real needs are. Here's a partial transcript of my chat with, let's call him SoldierGuy.

Pinkdome: Hey, are you really in Iraq?
SoldierGuy: Yeah
Pinkdome: Yipes! I mean, that's cool.
SoldierGuy: Hehe got a cock shot to send me?
Pinkdome: No. How can you get a dirty picture anyway, isn't their like armed guards looking through your computer?
SoldierGuy: Kinda, but we can get stuff by email we just can't download it.
Pinkdome: So you can get email porn? Do you want me to put you together a porn care package email?
SoldierGuy: Yeah, that would be cool. Be sure to send me some of you.
Pinkdome: Well, whatever I can do for my country

I managed, somehow, to actually round up some porn and send it off to Iraq with love. Feeling like I had really just helped the war effort in my own way by relieving the pent up sexual frustration of this one horny gay soldier.

I am such a better American than all of you are.