The Texas Democrats have announced that 100% of the donations they receive this week will go to aid the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Chris Bell has called off fundraising and is asking people to give to the Houston Food Bank on his site as the evacuees head towards the Astrodome.

(Look at us, we refrained from inappropriate editorial comment. Someone send us some damn cookies)

Even with a robust economy that was adding jobs last year, the number of Americans who fell into poverty rose to 37 million -- up 1.1 million from 2003 -- according to Census Bureau figures released Tuesday.

It marks the fourth straight increase in the government's annual poverty measure.

The Census Bureau also said household income remained flat, and that the number of people without health insurance edged up by about 800,000 to 45.8 million people.

Nope. No reason to look at the minimum wage, no reason to revisit health care or CHIP. Education surely couldn't help either.

Just to dig it in a little further we're including this, too, from the BusinessWeek article:
The last decline in overall poverty was in 2000, during the Clinton administration.

PD's conclusion? Blow jobs good for ending poverty. War? Not so much.

I guess Allstate is showing an ad in Texas that doesn't apply to us. I have yet to see it, but it has Texas Watch up in arms. The ad depicts a family who loses their house because their auto insurance doesn't cover all the damages from an accident. Texas Watch is saying that "The Texas Constitution (Article 16, Section 50) strictly prohibits the forced sale of a person's homestead except in narrow circumstances, clearly protecting homeowners from just the type of situation outlined in the Allstate television ad."

Full release in the permalink.

Suzanna Gratia Hupp, a.k.a. the Softer Side of Sears, has decided to call it quits with the House. Add one more person to the growing list of reps giving up. That sucks, now we have to make fun of someone else in the House with bad fashion sense. Is that even possible?

Cindy Sheehan will be in Austin tonight.
5:15 pm - BUS ARRIVES AT CAPITAL, 11th and Congress
5:40 pm - MARCH to CITY HALL, Cesar Chavez and Guadalupe
6:00 pm - RALLY
7:00 pm- VIGIL
[via Austinist]

Ok, finally we're going to talk about Hurricane Katrina. It doesn't have anything to do with Texas politics. (Maybe tangentially...economic impact, strain on state resources with refugees, etc) The cynical side of us says that President Bush is relieved to see something other than Cindy Sheehan and Iraq dominating the news and his plummeting approval rating.

So, we created a new forum where you can discuss Katrina, New Orleans, and things related to the disaster. Click here or on the forums link in the 'navigation' box on the top left.

The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department have apparently sent their second letter to state leaders requesting additional funds. The first one back in July was ignored by state leaders (SHOCKING! I just can't believe that) and this recent letter tells state leaders that they may be forced to close 9 state parks and lay offs for parks employees.

That's ok with us, right? There really aren't any reason for the state to have public parks. It's mostly shit holes anyway, right? We could probably put a Wal-Mart where some of these parks are anyway and that would bring in tax revenue...oh wait...not so much.

The PinkDome Forums are now up! There are five categories to get you started, PinkDome Stuff, Governor's Race, State Legislature, National Politics and State Politics-Misc.

The forums are not moderated at this time. And once you register you can comment and post or start your own threads. So far we have only one rule: Remember your upbringing, ok? So go, discuss amongst yourselves.

You can click on these links but the 'FORUMS' link in the navigation box on the top left of the page.

And just so you know, he is heterosexual and he also opposes the Texas Constitutional Amendment re: same-sex partnerships.

"All of us as Texans are entitled to public servants who will serve the people and do everything in their power to defend the constitutional rights liberties of all the people equally," Van Os said.

Finally, a sensical statement from someone running for office. Too bad Texans don't understand that sort of thing.

Read more after the jump.

Here are the players:
Allen Blakemore, general consultant; Michael Baselice, polling; Steve Sandler, advertising; Jim McGrath, communications director; Elizabeth Blakemore, fundraising; Kate Doner, Austin fundraising.

So, how many Republicans does it take to make Joe Nixon sound good?

The full release and bios after the jump.

A new law on parental consent goes into effect this week that could make it punishable by death for a doctor to perform an abortion without parental approval or after the third trimester. We were thinking someone should have slipped in a provision to make it a capital offense to legislate ineffectively and fuck up school finance and kowtow to a few special interests. But, it would be hard to actually have a state legislature with only about five people not on death row.

The following are PinkDome's punishable by execution suggestions:
*Doctors that refuse to let us get generic drugs and insist on prescribing brand names only.
*Customer Service Reps that put us on eterna-hold.
*Hippies
*People that don't love puppies

Feel free to add your capital offense additions in the comments section.

Looks like the Reverend Al Sharpton didn't get to meet with the President, but did get to meet a real live Texas Sheriff!

Click here for the story.

Watch this ad for Brian Ellner, he's running for Manhattan Borough President (whatever that is)...wait for the end. You'll faint.

The Reverend Al Sharpton and Martin Sheen visited 'Camp Casey' this weekend. There were apparently a few minor skirmishes as pro-Bush, pro-war folks set up shop nearby Sheehan this weekend. We're not sure how much of the protest is actually indicative of the simmering anti-war sentiment in America and how much is slow news in August.

Wednesday it looks like Sheehan will jump on a bus and head South towards Houston. Word is she'll stop and speak in Austin as she makes her way to Tom DeLay's office in Houston. Uhm...we think Sheehan would have better luck getting George Bush to cook her dinner and whisper sweet nothings in her ear than her chances of getting a meeting with DeLay. He's probably pretty busy meeting with his legal counsel these days.

Oh, and uh..there's a big ass hurricane but it has nothing to do with politics until gas prices jump on Monday and once again President Bush does nothing to release the strategic oil reserves.

On this day in 1920, the 19th amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, giving American women the right to vote nearly 70 years after the first formal women's convention in Seneca Falls, New York.

House Bill 67, authored by Representative McClendon in the House and sponsored by Senator Van de Putte in the Senate during the 79th Legislative Session, designated August 26th as "Women's Independence Day."

So, it was 85 years ago today that things went to shit? I kid...I love.

Rep. Bob Griggs is holding a press conference starting at 10am this morning where he is announcing that he will not run for re-election.

Also, another press conference is scheduled at the conclusion of Rep. Griggs' where Kelly Hancock is announcing he is running for the seat. Kelly is a longtime school board member of Birdville ISD where Dr. Griggs was the former Superintendent.

Looks like our cookies and begging didn't work. We suck.

Rep. Mark Strama [via Barbara Radnofsky's Blog]

What does oil and gas exploration have to do with the Texas Emerging Technology Fund? Well, Governor Perry just appointed Midland's own Grant Billingsley to the group and Billingsley's employed by Wagner & Brown Ltd., an independent oil and gas exploration and production company.

The Texas Emerging Technology Fund is allegedly in place to bring new technology companies to Texas. Such as, semi-conductor manufacturing, bio-technology, nano-technology, environmental sciences and advanced energy.

Here are the other appointees:
Texas Tech Engineering Dean Pamela Eibeck of Lubbock, Dr. Lynda de la Vina of San Antonio, David Nance, Sada Cumber and Pike Powers of Austin, Alan Abbott of El Paso, Dr. Thomas Caskey of Houston, Walter Ulrich of Pearland, Phillip Drayer and Dr. Hans Stork of Dallas, Clyde Higgs of Fort Worth, Bernie Paulson of Corpus Christi, Bill Sproull of Richardson, Cesar Maldonado of Harlingen and Bill Morrow of San Marcos.

Any of y'all know these folks? Are there any business development in emerging technology experts on the list? OR, are these all just political payback appointments? Hmmm. We'd do a little looking but it's late and the bars need us.

Word is that VP Dick Cheney will be in Houston on September 16 to help Tom DeLay raise some money and to show the administration's support for douchebag DeLay.

The White House will not confirm, but a Yahoo! Group has the details. Sadly, we believe Yahoo! Groups more than the White House.

So the special sessions are over, the finger pointing and name calling has escalated, and just like in 2003 there's a whiff of rumors for a new Speaker floating through the air. Ross Ramsey, Paul Burka, & Mike Hailey, all guys I would consider in tune with the goings-on of the Capitol, have used their podiums to hint at a possible change of speakership. One thing to point out is that you had very similar rumors after redistricting. However, a few more people this year cast no votes for Craddick for speaker, and a lot more people (Republicans specifically) went ahead & bucked the leadership, more & more frequently as the specials progressed. Political capital is being burnt up, and frustration is building. Will the Dems be able to knock out the Craddick D's in the primaries, or will Leiniger et al roll over those dissenting R's in their primaries? Is there enough muscle to flip speakers?

Here's a taste of the rabble-rousing that has been thrown out there.

Burka:
There might be as many as 20 to 25 Republicans who, in a secret ballot, would be willing to join the 62 Democrats in replacing Craddick with a new Republican Speaker.

Ramsey (subscription required):
But the Republicans are in charge now, and legislative Democrats quietly revel in their troubles. And they have been encouraging any signs of rebellion among their Republican colleagues, suggesting the Democrats would join up with a Republican speaker candidate who can bring along enough votes from the GOP to create, with the Democrats, a new majority.

Hailey (subscription required):
In addition to the Republicans who initially opposed Craddick's promotion to the House's top job, the insurgents would supposedly include two members of the GOP's big sophomore class, one freshman lawmaker and another veteran Republican who might have cause for a unique individual beef with the incumbent speaker. That would give the Democrats - if they all stuck together - and their Republican allies a hypothetical one-vote cushion with more than 75 votes including the candidate who is chosen to fill the seat left vacant by the death of Democratic State Rep. Joe Moreno of Houston in May.

Just something to think about during this week's lull in interesting political headlines.

Senator Royce West and State Rep. Terri Hodge were included in subpoenas handed out all over the metroplex yesterday. We don't pay attention to Dallas politics much, but apparently there is something fishy going on with the city council (when is there not something fishy going on with the Dallas city council?) and housing developments.

The DMN has the story and some lovely pop-up ads, too!

Bill Moyer, a 73 year-old veteran made the ultimate statement to President Bush at a speech he gave in Idaho attempting to shore up support for the war in Iraq. Moyer's accessory is making the rounds on the net and has spawned at least one downloadable do-it-yourself kit. We so need these in Texas!

The President's job approval rating continues its free-fall. Today I had a conversation with a retired lady that introduced herself as a Bush supporter. She quickly followed up with a qualifier, "But with this thing in Iraq, I just don't know about him anymore." Not much, but it's a start here in the Red State.

A little while ago Perry went ahead & shored up some more support with the whacked out right & appointed Don Willet to the empty spot on the Supreme Court. Seems that last year, Barrientos held up Willet's nomination, so Willet just went ahead and up & moved to Wentworth's district to avoid any such meddling by those pesky D's. Now the guy who created the faith based initiatives for Bush in Texas & in the White House is now moving on to take the ever lovely Priscilla Owen's spot on the bench. Now 5 of the 9 justices on the bench that will be responsible for dealing with school finance will have been appointed by Perry. Oh joy, I see good things on the horizon.

This possible anti-gay marriage amendment pisses us all off to no end. What disturbs me most is reading articles like this from the AAS, saying that Perry is going to meet with pastors to discuss it. I will bet you bottom dollar that he will be meeting with fundamentalist pastors. I don't think the pastor from my open-minded church (or any of the other pastors from "open/welcoming" churches in town) will be included in this. Of course the way the Statesman puts it:

Perry's note coincided with his plans to address 500 pastors about the amendment and voter registration at a closed-door meeting today at an Austin hotel.

The Texas Restoration Project, modeled on efforts in other states, seeks to register 300,000 Christians of like "conscience and values" by November.

"We're coming to a crucial moment," said Laurence White, a Houston pastor and the project's state chairman. "We as Christians have to take a stand."

Perry, who attended a similar "pastors briefing" in May, will also be welcome at briefings next month in Fort Worth, Dallas and San Antonio, White said.

But, we'll get it fixed in a jiffy. Unlike the state legislature we can handle our shit, baby.

We didn't post on the story about Pat Robertson calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. We thought the story pretty much defied comment. However, we just noticed that the Bush Administration has 'disavowed' Pat Robertson.

A Chavez supporter in the Venezuelan parliament, Desire Santos Amaral said "This man cannot be a true Christian. He's a fascist."

All we can say is, "It's about fucking time, George." Legitimizing Christian Terrorists is just as bad as any other form of terrorism.

Oh, and if you're going to comment and say Chavez is a tyrant...don't bother. We don't assassinate presidents. *cough* Diplomacy anyone?

A tipster led me to this article from the AP: Troops' Gravestones Have Pentagon Slogans. Choice bits:

Nadia and Robert McCaffrey, whose son Patrick was killed in Iraq in June 2004, said "Operation Iraqi Freedom" ended up on his government-supplied headstone in Oceanside, Calif., without family approval.

"I was a little taken aback," Robert McCaffrey said, describing his reaction when he first saw the operation name on Patrick's tombstone. "They certainly didn't ask my wife; they didn't ask me." He said Patrick's widow told him she had not been asked either.

"In one way, I feel it's taking advantage to a small degree," McCaffrey said. "Patrick did not want to be there, that is a definite fact."

The owner of the company that has been making gravestones for Arlington and other national cemeteries for nearly two decades is uncomfortable, too.

"It just seems a little brazen that that's put on stones," said Jeff Martell, owner of Granite Industries of Vermont. "It seems like it might be connected to politics."

The good ol' Texas Legislative Council has the analyses of the proposed Texas Constitutional Amendments we mentioned earlier available for download as MS Word or WordPerfect (Who uses WordPerfect anymore?). Reading along, here is the official TLC arguments FOR Proposition 2. (*UPDATE* These are not the opinions of the TLC, merely the arguments presented by the proponents of Prop. 2 in the Lege. The TLC, I'm guessing, couldn't give three shits about this and probably found it hard to put this analysis together with a straight face.) Get ready!

The union of a man and a woman in the long-standing institution of traditional marriage promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society. PD Says, "Allowing gays to marry and raise children would cause the stock market to crash, oil prices to rise and rampant shoplifting at Wal-Mart. This instability would crush Texas' economy and de-stabilize the State. The resulting Martial Law imposed by the President would incite riots from Midland to Tyler."

The state should ensure that the institution of traditional marriage cannot be undermined by a future court decision or statute of the Texas Legislature. PD Says, "The courts should stick to legislating school finance reform and stay out of constitutionally supported social disenfranchisement of citizens."

The amendment would not discriminate against any person. PD Says, "Except faggots."

Approval of the amendment by the voters would not prevent same-sex couples from pursuing their lifestyles, but would only ensure that the union of same-sex couples is not sanctioned by the state. PD Says, "It would also not prevent swingers, adulterers, child-beaters, drug users, pedophiles, and Republicans from pursuing their lifestyle...but it really doesn't do anything to ensure the sanctity of anything in Texas."

You can download the analyses of all 8 proposed amendments on the TLC Site here.

I know, you're like, Sheesh, Bluebonnet, you're all about the churches nowadays. It is only coincidence that I post about two church-related events in two days.

Texas Freedom Network is hosting a presentation of their report regarding the Bible in schools on the evening of Wednesday, Aug. 31 at University Baptist Church.

Read this full post. You can read more about the report on their site.

The Secretary of State's office set the order of the November Ballot. Eight Propositions are included. The most infamous, of course, will be Prop. 2 (One Man, One Woman and One Donkey Act). The Secretary of State decided the order in which the 8 would appear on the ballot by pulling slips of paper out of a cookie jar. (Maybe this is how we should have decided School Finance)

No Nonsense in November, a coalition of groups that oppose the ban, has set up offices in Austin, Houston, Dallas and San Antonio and selected campaign coordinators for 35 of the state's largest counties. They've begun canvassing neighborhoods to encourage people to vote against the proposition and plan to enlist volunteers to call voters at home. [365gay]

We checked out Liberty Legal's site but it's so hideous we didn't stay long enough to read about how Donkey Love protects our children.

Looks like the folks in the Hunt County area will be getting a very large new neighbor soon. The Redeemed Christian Church of God, based in Lagos, Nigeria, is building their North American headquarters in town. The NY Times has an article all about the new build and the wary citizens of nearby Floyd. Here's a taste for you:

"The Nigerians I've seen on TV are dark, really dark, not like the black people around here," said Tina Causey, 69, a house cleaner who lives in Floyd with her husband, a post office employee. "I'm not a racist, I've got Mexican grandchildren."

Well, as we ponder how many meth labs might be running out of the white people's trailers out there in the Meth Belt, we certainly hope that this multicultural church does something to get rid of some of the stereotypes these Floyd folks have.

Both Governor Perry and Lt. Guv Dewhurst have done some blaming on the "Failure of the Century" (Special Sessions 2005). They made their way past the obvious *cough* Craddick *cough* and went on to the 'greedy lobbyists.'

Ok, is there any other kind of lobbyist? By definition a lobbyist is laser-focused on championing their cause, issue, paying client. So, calling them greedy is like calling Mother Theresa altruistic.

This pointing of fingers to lobbyists won't work with your constituents Mr. Perry and Mr. Dewhurst. You know why? Because we didn't vote for lobbyists. We (well somebody did) voted for you. If you and the rest of brain trust in the legislature cannot do the job you are supposed to be doing we blame no one but you. Got it? It's your fault. Accept that you're a bunch of dumbasses, move on and let's get to the next election cycle.

It's that time again. Time for staffers that will lose their jobs at the end of the month to scurry around and find something new. Once again, if you're hiring email us and we'll post the job here or if it's not a public position we'll email it to the staffers that are emailing us asking us if we know of any jobs.

Nope, nothing shady going on with Halliburton in Iraq. Nothing shady at all.[AAS]

President Bush can ride a bike and talk at the same time! Witnesses call it a miracle! [DMN]

Seriously, What the fuck is up in Nuevo Laredo? [Chron]

The Swift Boating of Cindy Sheehan. [NYTimes]

School Superintendant mad as hell at all the school bashing from this Session. "Texas ranks in the top eight of the 50 states in performance on nationally recognized tests. At the same time, Texas ranks 14th from the bottom of the 50 states in funding for public education." [Corpus Christi Caller]

Eric Folkerth, a singer/songwriter from Dallas, went to Camp Casey and on his way back wrote a song about his visit. It's available for download on his site or you can stream it here.

Ford every stream . . . okay, enough with the Rodgers & Hammerstein. A certain someone pointed me towards an item in the DMN opinion blog about David Laney, current Amtrak board chairman, possibly maybe perhaps running for governor. From what we read in the post, it doesn't seem likely. PD thinks that as far as running against Rick Perry being like "taking on Mt. Everest" -- it's really more like taking on Mt. Bonnell. The invincible Rick Perry? Don't make us laugh so hard.

Click here for the entire post.

Senator Gonzalo Barrientos released his own statement today on the failures of this special session.

While we find it hard to believe that we can fix school finance without raising revenue, the rest of his statement sort of hits it on the head.

From the governor's calling repeated special sessions when there was no real consensus, to the speaker's insistence on a revenue neutral bill, to the silly $23,000-a-day staring contest engaged in by the speaker and the lieutenant governor as the second session sputtered to a close, this whole exercise was much more about political posturing for Republican primaries than about fixing the schools or offering real tax relief.

Governor Perry issued an executive order today saying that since the Legislature didn't act, he will. Oooooo, big words little man. He manages to put the blame for the spectacular failure of this session on the backs of the legislature and the business and petrochemical lobby. (Funny, we thought after calling three special sessions on school finance and seeing the Governor's own proposals fail we could put some of the blame on him).

Governor Perry also goes on to say that the blame game gets us nowhere. Uhm, after he just blamed everybody but himself for the failure. Oh, and one more thing...this grand gesture of the executive order? All it really does is restore the funding he vetoed earlier. But, shhh...don't tell the masses or it totally fucks up his whole 'champion for schoolchildren' campaign message. Ok?

Martin Frost emailed us his latest column for Fox News. That's right, Fox News. After I read through it (you can read it by clicking on 'permalink' below) I had a mixed reaction.

Mr. Frost believes Democrats must reach out to religious voters. To agree with his position means I have to agree that Democrats' current values are out of step with religious beliefs. I do not, so it makes it a little difficult for me to swallow this column as a 'call to action' as it was intended. Using a study by the Democracy Corps, he takes on the idea of a change agenda.

For example: "But somehow, Republicans have equated any support for gay rights and a woman's right to choose an abortion with immorality."

First, I strongly believe in the separation of Church and state. Secondly, I believe it is very Christian to champion the rights of the disenfranchised or discriminated against people (gay rights) and as far as abortion goes...when I grow a heart-stoppingly gorgeous vagina I'll speak up more fervently about the issue of abortion.

click here for the full entry.

An Ohio judge ordered Governor Taft (R-Ohio) to pay a fine for violating ethics violations. And...wait for it...

In addition to the fine, the judge ordered Taft to send e-mails to Ohio newspapers and state employees apologizing for his behavior.

Someone make that happen and get back to me.

Sine Die isn't the only latin word we'll be using today. Spucatum Tauri, latin for bullshit seems appropriate as well.

The real question is: What if you had a sine die and no one came? Is there anyone left over there in the pink dome today? If so where y'all going for drinks tonight?

We're sure we'll be drunk most of the day.

The Texas Rural Democrats are having a 'Summit' in Tyler next weekend. There will even be a Ball at the Ramada Inn on Friday night. (There is not enough vodka in Texas to get me to spend a night in a black tie at the Ramada Inn. I don't care if it was a Ramada in Monte Carlo)

Apparently, Paul Hackett (the guy that lost in Ohio...but only by a small margin!) will be a speaker. Here's a great motivator for the Rural Texas Democrats...You can almost win! It's the best you can achieve!

Interestingly, Chris Bell and John Sharp will also be there. Wonder if Chris will ask John for an endorsement? Charles Soechting will be a speaker, too. What's he gonna say? Uhm...vote for Kinky?
(Click Permalink for the full invite.)

I will admit (although I think I mentioned it earlier) that I own a Code Pink t-shirt. When I bought it over a year ago, I was subscribed to their mailing list. So I can tell you/warn you that Joan Baez will be in our great state to perform at Camp Casey this weekend. Sunday at 4pm.

Marcia Ball will be there at 7pm tomorrow. That should be a good show.

They really want more Texans to come to Crawford and join everyone else. It is tempting to go scope it all out, but for this weekend, I have to pass.

To view the entire email I got from Code Pink, click on permalink.

The worldwide candlelight vigil last night drew hundreds to downtown Austin. Here's my favorite brilliant journalism line from the Statesman story: "Young and old, many old enough to have demonstrated against the Vietnam war." Why was it important to add the reference to the protestors against the Vietnam war?

Vietnam war protestors: Good because their sheer numbers forced the government into action? Bad because they were just a bunch of whiny dirty hippies? Since none of us here at PinkDome's secret lair existed during that time why don't y'all tell us. Whatever, I just thought that was stupid of the Statesman. As usual.

The legislature obviously couldn't find a way to reform school finance with a map and a flashlight. While in Seattle there are apparently some actual sessions and group discussions on education finance. We bet you a liquid dollar that Kimberly Reeves of QR is the only person from Texas in the room, though.

The telecom bill somehow made its way through both houses this Special. You know, the session that was called to fix school finance? You remember...Perry vetoed the budget demanding the legislature act and not let 'activist judges' legislate from the bench and then Dewhurst declared that nothing was getting through the Senate until school finance was done?

Ah, empty promises from two limp dick politicians. At least Craddick comes right out and says he's an asshole. That way you know what you're getting from the get-go.

If Perry signs the telecom bill how long before we see the ads saying the Governor cares more about big business legislation getting passed that favors a tiny few companies and leaves thousands of children in dirt-floor schoolrooms across the state?

I don't really know how she's gonna woo Republicans with this language, but I gotta say that I tend to like it:

Immigrants, legal or otherwise, come to Texas to "put a roof over their heads" and Texas has a responsibility to provide them education and health care once they are here, Republican gubernatorial candidate Carole Keeton Strayhorn told a conservative GOP group Tuesday.

Will she be able to cut out a large enough swath of voters to take on Perry in March? What with inviting Democrats, liberals, & independents to vote Republican, she's definitely taking an interesting route in her quest for the Governor's mansion.

The Brownsville Herald reports that Sen. Eddie Lucio's son, Eddie Lucio III, is thinking about running for the Lege next year:

Eddie Lucio III confirmed on Tuesday he has been talking with potential supporters and plans to run for the House District 38 seat. The seat is occupied by state Rep. Jim Solis, D-Harlingen, who has said he is almost certain to retire when his term expires at the end of 2006.

Solis has said he would make his official announcement in October or November. Lucio III said he will wait until Solis' announcement to launch his candidacy.

We received this 'fictional' news story today and since we all know that this Special Session was so screwed up we thought we'd post it for you.

Following a path it had trod some 857 times before, the Texas House today voted down Senate Bill 858, the latest school finance bill.

House Speaker Jack Crackson was blunt. "I wouldn't wipe my ass with Senate Bill 858," he told reporters today. "We all know what's behind this bill. The Education Conspiracy. A consortium of superintentendents bought the Lieutenant Governor off with a bevy of whores, a swimming pool full of coke and a personal hairdresser. If I catch sight of that sellout I'm going to hoist him up the capitol flagpole by his underwear."

Most analysts agree that relations between Republican leaders are on the rocks. "The speaker is quite grouchy," observed Inside Report's Giles Conundrum. "He used to be so tender, especially in the morning. He's really not so harsh underneath."

District superintendents had lent their support to Senate Bill 858 after gaining some concessions from leadership. Teachers would be provided vitamin-enriched gruel and a stipend for socks and underwear. Children officially labeled unruly would be excused from accountability tests, administered regular doses of tranquilizers and put to work in school cafeterias. Each district would receive 500 million dollars for Digital Brain Control Devices, or DBCDs, which are units able to etch the TEKS, or Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills, into the soul of a child.

Lt. Gov. Danny Dunkirk defended the bill. "Senate Bill 858 picks up tomorrow's Texas schoolchildren in its big strong arms and says 'You're safe with me." Dunkirk looked over his shoulder and added that Speaker Crackson was â??a big so-and-so."

Most analysts cautiously agree that compromise appears unlikely in either the near or very near future. A majority of House members have indicated they will only support a bill that included these school reforms: All school administrators must wear clown suits at all times; fifty cents of every school finance dollar must go to purchasing paddles and crosses; districts would be provided with an extra three hundred dollars of enrichment for "every purty girl that tries real hard" and "every boy able to power a 30-yard pass with deadly accuracy." The House version would also require property poor districts to return all past dollars allocated under the so-called Robin Hood system. "They stole it - time to give it back," said Daphne Bluebonnet, a Republican Representative from High-on-the-hog Park.

While lawmakers bicker, the Texas public school system struggles into its seventh year without funding. Randy Rock from the Center for a Tax-free Paradise, or CTFP, pointed out that's still double what early Texas settlers made do with. "The schools can sell furniture to raise money for pens and paper. I mean, there's a school that's complaining but still managed to find the money for toilet paper!" he said.

Peter Pedantic from the Bleeding Heart Institute disagreed. "The enrichment tier provides a weak allotment of weighted ADA for low-SES students."

Governor Rufus Tootin remains resolved to call the 113th special session if lawmakers don't hug and make up. He stood before reporters today with his index fingers pointed high like six shooters. "Pow. Pow," he said. "Pow. Pow."

HuffPo pointed me towards the Walken 2008 site. It is most likely unrelated to Christopher Walken, so we might as well enjoy it before his attorneys find out about it and close it down. Actually, he seems like a mellow guy, so he'll probably leave it up. If it really is him (so very doubtful), we wish him luck!

Willie is sponsoring a Kinky fundraiser on Sept. 24 at his "private town/movie set" in Luck, TX. We can only imagine what wonderful colorful characters will show up. I mainly posted this because I love the photoshopped picture of the three of them. LOVE it.

[via DListed]

That's what one lobbyist calls the National Conference for State Legislators. We thought we'd post a link to the venue where you can find your favorite Texas state legislator.

Last year, lobbyists outnumbered state legislators 5-to-1 nationally and spent nearly $1billion pushing their causes in state capitols, according to a report released last week by the Center for Public Integrity, a Washington, D.C.-based watchdog group.

Texas is sending the largest contingent of legislators to this week's convention, with 109 registered as of last week.

PinkDome officially designates Hill-Bert's as the best hamburger and onion ring joint in Austin. On Lamar just South of 34th Street, this neighborhood place rocks my hungover world several times a week. The past few times I've been there the Strayhorn for Governor bumper sticker on the window has cracked me up. I finally asked them and they tell me that Carole loves her some Hill-Bert's, too.

Somebody tell Carole to buy me some onion rings sometime. Mmmm.

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Rep. Gallego is 'poking the bear' again with a nasty letter to Speaker Craddick. Apparently, Rep. Gallego thinks the leadership of the House should not run ads calling the Senate a bunch of pussies.

Here's the full letter for you:(PDF) Download file

We bet Craddick gets these kind of love letters all the time, I mean...he's just so dreamy don't you think?

After coming to an early climax in bill passing last week, it's looking like the Lege is rolling over and going to sleep. The Speaker is telling members to go ahead & go to Seattle, there is no sign of a House calendar, and the Dew "all but declared the session dead in a press avail after the Senate session today." Seems like any remaining legislation would have to jump a few too many hurdles to stand a chance, and it just ain't worth doing.

Those Perry-lovin cronies in the state's Republican party took a shot at Strayhorn for inviting all Texans to vote in the Republican primary:

â??It's one thing when a candidate tries to invite like-minded conservative Democrats and Independents to make a lasting commitment to the Republican Party. It's quite another to encourage liberals to vote in the primary like a one-night stand.â??

It gets better. Strayhorn's son responded, obviously incensed at having his momma called a slut:

"In a letter sent today to members of the State Republican Executive Committee, Strayhorn's campaign manager, her son Brad, states he called Fisher and demanded he apologize for the â??inappropriate and degrading comment.â??

Did he get an apology?

"Bill Crocker of Austin, one of the state's two members of the Republican National Committee, laughed upon hearing Fisher's comment, adding he sees no reason to say sorry."

Still waiting to see if Brad kicks his ass, cuz them's fightin' words.

After some clarifications were made on the floor, the Senate adjourned until tommorrow at 9. They effectively drew their line in the sand, saying that the House has until midnight tommorrow night to get them a school & tax bill, or the session is dead. The Speaker's office is polling around, trying to see what the vote would be on HB 8 & SB 8, and a possible motion to previous question. Will we get a House calendar for tommorrow? Will the Speaker just let everyone get out of town? Will Dewhurst realize he can't make a threat at all because Craddick's got his balls in his trophy case? We'll see.

The Startlegram is talking about this guy, Tony Buzbee, a 37-year-old lawyer, former chairman of the Galveston County Democratic Party and former Marine Corps captain, running for Lieutenant Governor. Anyways, a quick Google search proves that, he is, indeed, a lawyer. I need to work on my internet sleuthing. In the meantime, does anyone else know anything about him?

"Tony Buzbee, a 37-year-old lawyer and former chairman of the Galveston County Democratic Party, said the state's GOP leaders are spending too much time fighting among themselves and too little time solving problems like school finance. " In my opinion, they are spending too much time trying to solve school finance. Go on, get out of town, take a breather, drink a cocktail, & let someone else deal with the mess.

2:00
I'm sitting at the blogger's table with the Texas bloggin braintrust. The heat is sweltering, but they were kind enough to provide us with ice-cold water (even though we had been promised cold beer). I'll let you know when things get kickin'. AC/DC's Hell's Bells is blasting through the loudspeakers and adorable little kids are running around with "Texas Kids For Bell" signs.

2:13
The fluffers are out, warming us up. When I say "Chris", you say "Bell".

2:22
Chris is on stage, wearing what else? A blue shirt. Moving on to the stump speech, shots at Perry are echoing through the UT campus. "He's telling the rest of us Adios". I think I'm the only one who laughed at that.

2:32
"Todos estamos en esto juntos, We're all in this together". Followed up by a quote from MLK. A nod to the blogger's table. He really is looking out for all the minorities.

2:39
Apparently the older crowd is big on the vintage Bell apparrel. I saw a Bell City Council shirt, Bell Mayor button on a fanny pack, & a Bell Congress sweatshirt. I'm sitting here with a Bell Governor bumper sticker, that is so NOT chic. Uh-oh, a few sprinkles just fell on my laptop, fingers crossed it doesnt rain.

2:45
Speech is wrapping up, "How can we call ourselves progressive, if we fail to offer progress". I like that line.

2:47
Moving into the crowd, shaking babies and kissing hands. Good enough stump speech overall, I'll do a wrapup whenever I get away from this heat.

As per the bloggin braintrust, Red State has coverage of the speech. Damon over at BOR should have the full text of Bell's speech online. Greg and Eye On Williamson County have some of the good one-liners. Andy Brown was gracious enough to come over, shake our hands, and pass out flyers. Bell wasn't the only gubernatorial candidate making the rounds, Jennifer Gale was definitely out & about. All & all it was a good enough speech with decent turnout. I definitely got a kick out of watching the Bell cheerleaders and hearing the top 40 music. Also, I don't know if "Let's Get Retarded In Here" was a good choice of songs to play before the speech began, but that's just me.

Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson gave an interview to the Lone Star Report (subscription needed) about his recent trip to Iraq. He puts the normal spin on the war, talks about how we're making progress, etc. I gotta at least give this guy props because his own son was in the Marines over there, & he hauled his own ass over there using his own cash. On that note, this is the same beer, bait & ammo guy, and he says some things that make me laugh. He mentions beer a few times in the interview.

His number 1 observation?
"No. 1 observation: it's hot, it's real hot, and there's no cold beer."

Regarding the food:
"The chow is outstanding. Every Friday night, it's steak and lobster or Alaska King Crab leg night."

Regarding School Finanace:
"I'm just glad I'm not involved." You & me both, man.

Two things you may or may not be interested in:

Andy Brown has put up a final site (with a bit more finesse than the temporary attempt that was up for a while): http://www.voteandy.com. PD thinks he's a nice guy, so we'll plug his site.

On Sunday afternoon, Chris Bell is officially launching his campaign for Governor. The launch rally will begin at 2 PM on the UT campus (more details at the link). Some people will be liveblogging the event, but we won't . . . PD is at that lovely undisclosed location, I have church on Sunday (yes, church), and Rawhide doesn't really care (let me know if I'm wrong about that, Rawhide). We wish Bell good luck! Y'all have fun at the afterparty.

update: Rawhide is gonna liveblog it for us after all. So watch the blog Sunday afternoon, y'all. We'll be keeping it real for ya. Whatever that means.

Lawmakers have until next Monday, August 15 to cancel their registration for NCSL in order to get a full refund. The Senate is adjourned until Monday. The House is adjourned until Tuesday. Stuff gets kickin' in Seattle on Tuesday night, but nothing really fun happens until Wednesday. The House is allowed to adjourn sine die on its own 3 days before the last day, which I've heard can be done on Tuesday. Talking about NCSL, Craddick said "I'm on the list, but I'm not going to go, if we're in session." So basically, we watch the Senate blunder around on Monday, let the school & tax bills die on Tuesday, sine die, then haul ass out of town for some Pacific Northwest cocktail receptions. Do I have it right?

"just another seedy attempt by the liberal media to embarrass me."

So says Tom DeLay after Jack Abramoff was indicted yesterday. Jack and Tom are old buddies, and mysteriously two very expensive DeLay trips have wound up on Jack's credit card. The report says, "The Washington Post reported earlier this year that DeLay took two expensive overseas trips that Abramoff and other lobbyists bankrolled -- a violation of House rules, if true."

"I would have gotten away with violating ethics rules if it weren't for that damned liberal media," DeLay complained to the sheriff while Shaggy and Scooby Doo looked on in disbelief.

[CNN]

(sent to BB from PD, who is having fun at an undisclosed location far from the Capitol)

Whatchu smilin' about, Georgie?

[Yahoo photos]

Apparently, the risers are being removed from the back of the hearing rooms at the capitol [QR]. They say it's because there needs to be more wheelchair access. I say - kiss my grits! They want us bloggers to stop posting from the back of those hearing rooms. You can't stop us! We're everywhere! We'll find a way to post from those hearings. . . oh yes, we will. (insert evil laugh here)

(full QR article below - in the permalink, people - it's long)

Nate drove out to Crawford this morning to check out the situation and meet Cindy Sheehan. My favorite paragraph:

When we got there, it was like a Fourth of July picnic. Tents and lawn chairs and acoustic guitar. I had planned on being inconspicuous, so I was wearing a black leathe jacket and sunglasses. So I stood out amidst all the tie-dye and pink t-shirts and sandals. They were all hippies.

Even with the stereotyping, though, Nate's post is quite insightful at times, as well as informational.

Also - Drive Democracy has an inspiring post regarding volunteers at the Sheehan camp.

Whaddya get when the big bad government is coming after your burger joint? Well, if you have well-connected family members then you get your very own amendment on a bill. AAS has the story. UT was gonna eminently domain Player's over on MLK & Guadalupe to build their very own hotel, but Rep. Rene Oliveira, whose cousin owns Player's, tacked an amendment on yesterday's eminent domain bill that would disallow universities from using their government power to build a hotel. UT, realizing they'd been beat, announced later that day that they'd give up on their plans to get Player's. Probably a good thing, did you really want colleges to use tax-funded tuition revenue bonds to build a hotel? How about a classroom or a dorm or something?

What do we have here? Seems like Grusendorf filed HB 71 today. The tagline? Relating to public education and public school finance matters. Are they really trying again? What are they thinking? The text ain't up yet, but if someone knows what's going on, let us know.

Gov. Perry (soon to be commandant of the proposed volunteer militia, har!) sent a letter to the Education Commissioner yesterday authorizing the textbook order process so that our kiddies can have the textbooks they need when school starts [QR]. This seems like the ploy of, "Blame it on the Legislature! I did all I could." Me, I'm not buying it. I'm glad the kids will (finally) get their textbooks, but as I heard on KUT this morning (in my getting-ready-for-work, post-Milk-Dud haze), school districts are not able to build teacher salary raises into their budgets.

I'll post a link to the KUT story when it's put on the site.

We learn from the Statesman that a Houston legislator is pushing for a state border militia:

Frustrated by a government that seems unable to stanch the flow of illegal immigrants, a Houston Republican has introduced legislation creating a civilian volunteer militia to patrol the nation's borders, armed with arrest power, guns and the approval to use "any force necessary."

Commanded by Gov. Rick Perry and other border-state governors, the Border Protection Corps would add another line of defense against terrorists, smugglers and gangs eager to prey upon the United States, U.S. Rep. John Culberson said.

Craddick dismisses SB 8 as a school finance reform bill and says the House won't even bother with it. He's got a one track mind, that's for sure, because he managed to say "property tax" in his statement.

I guess everybody's wondering what the bar is like at the Westin in Seattle. We'll be sure to let you know. ;)

But we can't find a solution for school finance. These bitches in the Senate passed out the telecom bill last night and surely the House will pass it out today. You know, cause they've got to get to Seattle.

Houston Chronicle, July 15, 2005:
As House and Senate negotiators met behind closed doors on an education funding bill, Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst said Thursday he would hold non-education legislation hostage until an agreement is reached on school finance.

So, SB 8 and SJR 11 were the great answers to school finance and now we can take up any old shit we feel like?

Talk about major campaign points for all the challengers next cycle! All you have to do is get you a commercial standing with some poor and dirty child (makeup can substitute for actual dirt) and look into the camera and say, "Who will help the children of Texas have a brighter tomorrow?" then pinch the kid really hard on the back so he lets out a tear. CUT! Print!

The Senate takes up SB 8, and now SJR 11. There's some shit going on, but we're busy drinking. So keep each other updated in the comments.

And oh yeah, we're busy de-bugging the new look and feel of PinkDome.

*UPDATE* Holy Cripes! The Senate and House are passing crap out like it's going out of style. Taxes, Judicial pay raises, Eminent Domain, Live Donkey Shows...

Someone told us they were in a rush to finish this shit up by Thursday so they could all go to Seattle. I guess it's true.

Keep checking back and hitting 'Shift' and 'Refresh' on your browser to see the new PinkDome look. The site will be best viewed on Firefox with a screen resolution of 1024 x 768. Some of you will be able to see it before others as we cycle onto new DNS servers throughout the night.

If you have trouble viewing the site by tomorrow, leave a comment so we can work out the kinks. Are you totally excited? You should be, cause it's dead sexy.

We'll be adding PinkDome forums shortly so you will be able to login and rant to your heart's content.

To borrow from Kronberg, looks like this session is following the "Weekend At Bernie's" rulebook. The Gov just added eminent domain to the call, and telecom is supposedly rearing it's ugly face again tonight. Stay tuned, we'll see if the Gov can dig this session out of the grave.

Jon at Weblogsky posts a letter from Texas constituents ("consumers") to the Lege regarding the telecom legislation that will most likely be voted on today. We wish we shared his idealism, but we have learned to expect the worst.

God, I wish I could turn my cynicism down a notch. . .

That's what we're all thinking, right? Where is a Republican with the nerve to stand up to the little tyrant, Tom Craddick?

We agree this Session has been pointless and a waste of money, Tom. But, we think that a big reason it's been pointless and a waste of money is because you have strongarmed your non-negotiable position on people until they revolted with the Hochberg amendment. Now, what are you doing? Pouting? You are so 'dug in' here that some Republicans are surely meeting in secret rooms about how to remove you as Speaker and take control and let Texans know that partisan politics is not what they stand for. Some media savvy, politically astute Republicans are going to take you on. Count on it.

Right?

[AAS]

Instead of presenting the image of a strong and determined Texan, Dewhurst whined like a pouting 14 year old today in his press conference.

He says he's giving 24 hour notice that the Senate will bring up SB8. But, it's going to be hard to pass out a bill that relies on a revenue bill that sure as hell ain't going nowhere in the House.

There's a new Draft John Sharp website that's popped up.

Anyone heard if John Sharp has even seen it yet?

Rep. Gallego's office hand delivers a letter to Speaker Tom Craddick objecting to his call for adjourning sine die.

The regular and special sessions have made it a long and grueling year for us all. While I also could use a break, the people I represent sent me here to solve problems, not to give up in despair in the middle of a school finance crisis.

Meet Cindy Sheehan. Ms. Sheehan is the mother of Casey, killed in Iraq on April 4, 2004.

Ms. Sheehan talked to presidential aides this weekend and unlike a White House Press Corps member, she didn't say "thank you for treating me like an idiot."

"They said the president really believed that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction," Sheehan added. "And I told them: 'I might be a grieving mom, but you men are very intelligent, and I know you don't believe what you're telling me.'"

We don't either Ms. Sheehan. The face of a grieving mother is too much to bear. If you are out in the area, stop by and offer condolences on behalf of the nation and maybe a refreshing Aquafina.

My dad used to say that to me when I really screwed something up. Looks like Dad will have to call Tom and Rick today.

Even if Texas lawmakers, who spent all summer bogged down in negotiations over school funding, cast a last-minute vote to pay for the books, some texts will not be delivered until weeks after doors open.

Are we completely drunk or did Carole Keeton Strayhorn say this would happen?

How many ways can you say it?

Texarkana Gazette: In Our View: Trying do-littles: "They will just say, "The courts made us do it. It was those judicial busybodies who forced us to break our promises of tax relief and otherwise stiff the people who elected us. We wanted to keep the business of funding education under our control and local control. But now our hands are tied by people who don't have to answer to constituents."

That will not be the whole truth. They have spent our tax money on unproductive special sessions. They have postured and propagandized, and done just about anything but come up with a solution."

Lufkin Daily News: Legislative delays stall school work: " The special session is scheduled to end on Aug. 21, and many state lawmakers are saying it's time to pull the plug and go home, despite Gov. Rick Perry's vow that he would keep calling special sessions until the Legislature passes school reform and finance laws.

"In the 26 to 27 years I've been working for Lufkin ISD, I've never seen it come down this close to the wire," Parsons said. "In the past, if they changed the funding, it went into effect at the start of the next school year."

Startlegram: Grusendorf seeks legislation for textbooks: "Grusendorf said it is also clear to him that enacting meaningful education reform is all but impossible anytime soon."

Sorry about that, teach! The way this session is going, the Lege won't be helping you out. That's okay, really. Who needs to learn Spanish/English/Algebra/Geometry/World History? Given the way your salary is looking, you'll have to take a part-time job teaching at Sylvan/working at the Tastee-Freeze/painting houses anyway.

Ridiculous.

Ah, the Statesman's editorial policies. Got to love them. The Chronicle humiliates the AAS with multiple examples of how the word "turd" has made it into the paper on many occasions. But, we guess appearing in a cartoon was simply too vulgar for the bastion of traditional media. (insert hilarious anecdote here)

It was on Fergie's tech blog that we found this post and this absolutely retarded comment about the Statesman and the editorial decision to pull the strip.

One of the most happy days of my life was the day I realized that the web was far enough along for me to dispense with my subscripton to the Austin Statesman.

That was four or five years ago, but every now and then they just start throwing it on my driveway again, so I call and tell them that I don't want their liberal feces on my property, and that when their entire editoral staff is fired I'll give them another try.

What you are seeing is these highly biased liberal editors turning on the spit of rejection by the conservative majority. It warms my heart.

Liberal feces? I mean c'mon the AAS is crap, but liberal feces? How in the hell is not running a strip with the word turd in it liberal?

Just goes to show you...ah hell...it only shows you there are idiots everywhere. Thank God I'm drunk most of the time so they don't annoy the shit out of me.

The Republicans got together this week in Pittsburgh. While they keep talking about the big tent of the Republican party, here's what they believe:[via QR]

The theme of the Republican Party's summer meeting this weekend was expanding its base. The keynote speaker was a GOP senator who blames radical feminism for wrecking the home, equates same-sex marriage with bestiality, finds public schools suspect and believes that abortion is worse than slavery.[emphasis added]

When did we let these redneck, uneducated, hillbilly, snake-handling-speaking-in-tongues, the-world-is-flat get this much power? I've never been more proud to identify myself as a Liberal in my whole life. I gots book smarts. I believe in science. I believe in social justice. I believe the government should focus less on what's going on in the bedrooms of Americans and more on what's going on in the boardrooms. I believe we owe every American a quality and free public education through high school.

But, most of all...dear Republicans, I believe you are power-hungry and wrong. I believe that people are not as dumb as you and I both think they are and they will not stand for oppression and injustice and erosion of their Civil Rights. Mostly, I believe you all take it up the ass.

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the signing of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Texas' own, LBJ, signed the Act and ushered in dramatic changes for African-American voters.

That's enough high school government class crap. We do think it is important, though, to take a look back at the courage and leadership versus the cowardice and brutality that defined this part of American history. We think you can draw some parellels now with different social issues and deep idealogical divides.

During the Mary Denny debates on Voter ID this past Regular when we were all bitching about "What's the big deal?" maybe we need to remember that any efforts that could even be construed as a way to limit opportunities for people to vote is a pretty touchy issue for some people. It should be a touchy issue for all of us.

The Austin Chronicle said something so awesome about PinkDome, we decided to put it on a t-shirt for you. You know you've got to have it.

The Texas gubernatorial campaign of former Democratic Congressman Chris Bell is seeking to hire junior level finance staff members. Application instructions after the jump. Austin, San Antonio and Houston positions available.

Nate over at Common Sense was a little irritated that a White House press corps member wrote a diatribe to Wonkette about how much the hotels in Waco suck. Nate, getting a little touchy about his hometown basically reinforces what made me feel faint about being trapped in Waco.

I may be speaking out of spite, but I've lived here all my life. It's not that hard to survive here. We've got just about every chain restaurant imaginable, some great original dining and about 500 Starbucks in the Greater Waco area. It's not the friggin' Sahara.[emphasis mine]

DNC Chairman Howard Dean will be in Texas for the 3rd Annual DNC Hispanic Summit in San Antonio. Friday he'll be attending the South Texas Rally with Hidalgo County Democrats in Edinburg. Full schedule after the jump.

This one is just for you UT fans. Let's do a word problem. First, View image, and then answer the problem :

If Dr. James Dobson, of Focus on the family, is an evil hatemonger, then his love and support of OU Sooners coach Bob Stoops equals:

A.) OU has an exclusive deal with the devil
B.) Bob Stoops is also an evil hatemonger
C.) Dr. Dobson and Bob Stoops are gay homosexual lovers and are ass-fucking each other to beat the band

Your answers below.

Dewhurst, Perry and Shapiro think they can get something out of the Senate for textbooks and a small pay raise. Craddick is seeing the wheels come off his speakership, so he is throwing every wrench in the toolbox to get a sine die.

If you are keeping score it's like this:
Students 0
Teachers 0
Ineffective Legislature 58

(I arbitrarily gave them a 58)

Florida Congresswoman Katherine Harris, most notably remembered as the Florida Secretary of State during the big election scandal two cycles ago, has accused newspapers of doctoring her photo and then making fun of her makeup. We saw this photo on CNN and it doesn't look doctored to us at all. Whore.

Sadly, the above PD photoshop excellence was pretty dead on to an actual photo we found. View image

Craddick thinks it's time to call the time of death and adjourn sine die. Senator Shapiro responds, "Oh my God. We've totally just passed out my bill you big jerk!"
[via QR]

Don't ask me how I found this, but there is a comic publishing group called Fudge Factory who is selling two volumes of a series, "Right Wing Conservatives Getting Racked" (might not be SFW). While we prefer to inflict pain with our wit instead of violence, it is still somewhat amusing to see an illustration of Karl Rove suffering. It ain't tasteful (especially the illustration of Strom Thurmond *groan*), but it's worth checking out for a lark.

Keep Texas Beautiful, a statewide nonprofit organization, is seeking an
Administrative Coordinator. (Job description and apply instructions after the jump.)

[Yes, I took the photo off the TV. Shut up.]

Texas Land Commissioner, Jerry Patterson, heads to Iraq to reach out to Texas troops as 'tomorrow's Texas veterans' since he's also chairman of the Veterans Land Board.

You couldn't get us to go to Iraq even if you threatened us with exile to Odessa. We are highly trained in the art of martini's and rough sex sweet, sweet love, but we are not trained in the art of survival in a war zone.

From the DMN:

We agree, a little action is better than none. Personally, we like our action after a few martinis and we'll settle for a little under the blouse, over the bra.

It's coming! I know you all have been eagerly awaiting the return of . . .

JUSTICE SUNDAY!!!

Yes, Justice Sunday II will be upon us in a couple of Sundays. Because of his recent change of stance on stem cell research, Sen. Frist will not be part of the "holy" festivities. Instead, our pal, that great Christian example for all of us, Mr. Tom DeLay, will be the main speaker.

I'm sure there are still flights out to Nashville for the weekend, but you better hurry and buy your tickets now.

If this doesn't interest you (heathens!), this event may be more up your alley.

It's SB 37 that's been filed as an attempt at a bipartisan effort in the Senate to pass something...anything...let's do that and go home.

So it's Shapiro and the same crap with a new wrapper and Ellis and Eltife with a 'streamlined' hopefully passable bill.

BOR points to this USNews story about the White House cultivating bloggers by feeding them information on SCOTUS nominee John Roberts. In addition to not being on that list, we are not on the list for Governor Perry or CKS or Tom Craddick or David Dewhurst to feed us, either.

Why can't more of you bitches feed PinkDome?

Rawhide and PinkDome discuss the Ellis/Etlife ed. bill:
PinkDome: We hear Ellis/Etlife bill is going to be ONLY pay raise, pass through and textbooks. They are not going to get bogged down in the other stuff. I wouldn't call it a finger, necessarily. It is more a "let's get out of here alive" type of fallback proposal. They think that, at the end of the day, there will be no agreement on anything broader than this, so let's do this and call it a day.
Rawhide: well there ya go, do what ya can & get out
PinkDome: lazy bitches

â?¢ Texas schools teaching a course on the Bible: "They can read in Texas?"

Thanks Wonkette, we've been asking the very same question around here.

Is it just me or does the word "free" turn you on, too? Texas Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn announces the 2005 Sales Tax Holiday this weekend. A politician whispering the words "tax free" in my ear sends a seductive chill down my back. For more hot tax free talk from Strayhorn visit the site to see what you can buy this weekend and contribute nothing to the state's coffers.

Or, you know, if you have kids and shit...don't forget to go buy school clothes. Whatever.

PinkDome has cousins that are super hardcore Republicans. Every Thursday there is a family dinner and things usually go ok until I've had about two margaritas. Then inevitably I decide pleasantries are over and pick something to talk about that will cause controversy at the dinner table. So far the best reaction ever came from a discussion on using the term ass-fucking on this site to generate political discussion on important policy. Several cousins jumped up from the table and mumbled something about me being the "lowest common demoninator" as they wandered off.

Do you have any suggestions for topics this Thursday? And are you jealous that I can get family members to flee my presence instead of bothering the shit out of me? I know you are.

I've never really thought of comparing Iraq's General Assembly and the Texas Lege. That is exactly what this Daily Texan opinion piece has done, stating that "both are in a heated frenzy trying to craft legislation deemed critical to the state's immediate success, and both face the same potentially negative compromises because of that furor."

A little random? It brings to mind DeLay's comparison of Houston to Iraq.

Unrelated, but funny: The Days of our Legislature article in the Monitor.

Rep. Pena writes an "Ode to Rep. Bob Griggs," praising him as a selfless civil servant. Do y'all even know what that is? Rep. Griggs thinks the leadership presented 'junk food' as a school finance plan and since he did, he's invited opposition from a "party-line" Republican in his next primary.

This is the kind of shit we hate about politics these days. Someone trying to do what's best for their constituents or for the state becomes an opponent if it isn't what the current leadership wants.

Rep. Pena asks you to try and persuade Rep. Griggs to run for another term. We'll send a Tiff's Treats cookie delivery tomorrow with our plea.

Are you watching this on News 8? Does the Governor have to be so bitchy every time somebody asks a question? Because defensive we could handle, but bitchy is over the top.

(BB posting for PD)

*UPDATE* Perry says he will sign HB 1 and is an optimist that something will work out in the next 19 days. When asked would he call everybody back if the Lege adjourned sine die, the Governor replied "Peggy, there's 19 days left. As usual, you're getting ahead of yourself."

As usual, Governor...you don't make any sense at all. Oooo, I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don't I've come and gone.(Sound file)

The NY Times has an article today on Odessa's Bible course plan.

Hey, I attended a private Christian (read: Southern Baptist) school where I was required to take a Bible course, and look how great I turned out! I'm sure the conservatives from the school wouldn't be too happy about it.

But enough about me - this debate comes down to the separation of church and state. Although this course is an elective, if I was an atheist in Odessa, I wouldn't want my tax dollars going towards it. I find it hard to believe it will be more "educational" or theological than Bible-thumping.

The SAN Express-News had a piece today we actually enjoyed. It's true that the Special is ruining the summer for the legislators and even though Fred Hill said, "I'd rather not be part of your story," when asked about the vacation he had to forgo in Montana. "It's not a hardship. ... People don't want to hear us complain." There is a part of me that does want to hear you complain. (Well, the sick part granted).

Since we noticed that the San Antonio Express-News did not interview one staffer (even anonymously) about what they have had to give up this summer we thought we'd open up comments for you to tell us. If you are a staffer, lobbyist or whatever...what has the pointless Special forced you to forgo this summer?

We'll start...oh wait...y'all haven't forced us to give up anything. We've been drunk every night. So far we've been on two min-vacations and going on a third in 10 days! Woo Hoo!! Oh..sorry. We mean, the sacrifices have been a real hardship on our summer.

Speaker Tom Craddick told the AP "The superintendents have really beat our members up the last few days." We have a hard time feeling sorry for the members getting beat up by the school folks. They seem to finally have taken an active interest in the school finance debate.

Hell, who are we kidding...it's hard to feel sorry for the members getting beat up by anybody. Give 'em hell, school nerds.

The public hearing on SB 8 at 10:00 a.m. should be an exhaustin adventure. (Good luck staffers!)