In my email from the Travis County Democratic Party (yeah, yeah), I read that Senor ex-Presidente Bill Clinton will be in town to sign his book My Life. I know you are all so eager to attend, so after the jump is the information.

The State Affairs Committee scheduled for May 2 caught our eye. Note the asterisk on the first bill.

If any of y'all got a rule book handy, riddle us this: How is a public hearing allowed to accept 'invited tesimony only'?

We know the State Affairs has had some late nights lately, but when you bring up a boatload of turds you gotta expect it to smell a little bit.

Never get in the way of a good hate campaign.

The FW Star-Telegram tried, the Statesman tried...but BusinessWeek is the first article on blogs that is in-depth and explains it so people will stop wondering about them.
(courtesy: weblogsky)

Rep. Keel's prepared speech leads us to believe he was truly outraged that the Dems killed the Campaign Finance Reform Bill. (Keel's remarks after the jump)

But, according to Save Texas Reps this is more complicated than we orginally thought.

What's a young wide-eyed political blogger to think? This is what happens when we stop drinking and try to actually pay attention.

Your suggested thought bubbles had some zingers, that's for sure. Mary, we present our two favorites. Here: View image and here: View image

Phil conveniently missed the 7th Annual Community Networking Conference. As Chair of the House Regulated Industries Committee, he was scheduled to give the keynote speech. Oops, that would have required him to defend HB 789, and since he couldn't possibly do that he sent someone else to be slaughtered. Special legal counsel Jake Posey was under attack by many of the attendees.

Poor Jake, how's it feel to get screwed by Phil King?

And Phil, shame on you. How many times do we have to admonish you this session. It's getting embarrassing for both of us.

(via Quorum Report)

Lasso officially becomes a blog by adding comments to the site. Looks like the Statesman is steppin' out! That's so...2002 of you! Go, visit, comment! (Bet you can't use swear words, though.)

We've had a lot to say about Mary Denny not bringing the campaign finance reform bill before her committee this session, and we will have a lot to say about Craddick flip-flopping on his pledge before he became leader (after the jump), but now we'd like to join Mary Denny (who said she's afraid that campaign finance reform bills would limit free speech) in an excercise of our own.

We got you started, with our caption of this photo but we challenge each of you to come up with your own caption by putting a thought bubble on this photo of Mary Denny. We'll post the best here with mad photoshop skillz. You may leave your caption in the comments section (anonymously as always) or email them to us at tipsATpinkdomeDOTcom.

Look how sweet. If True.com online dating service has their way, this will be the only singles looking for love online. In a corporate war with Match.com, they have filed legislation to require criminal background checks before you can post your profile online.

Google search pulls up over 23 million results for 'online dating service' and one company in Texas thinks they all need a background check for singles in Texas.

This is nothing but the result of a corporate war between True.com and Match.com, two lame-ass websites.

We're just fuckin' with ya. Jon Stewart's Daily Show says it better than anyone.(video) "You know what's interesting? I'm not fucking making this up."

(link courtesy: One Good Move)

The mother of PinkDome has requested a disclaimer. Being a dutiful child, I oblige (kind of).

The views and content of PinkDome do not necessarily reflect that the author was not brought up right by the parents of PinkDome.

For some reason mom thought some of the things on this site could be considered offensive. Weird.

We were going to post a little something about a spike in traffic yesterday that had us perplexed until we saw the referring web sites, but had to put the mom thing first, that original post is after the jump.

We'll divulge a little secret here - PD and I have discussed starting a podcast. It hasn't come to fruition yet, but just wait, my friends. Some day. . .

Anyway, Chris Bell has beaten us to it (Thanks, BOR) . On his refurbished/newfangled/updated site, Mr. Bell has a blog, podcast and other nifty things. Now if Perry sets up a podcast in the near future, then we know end times are upon us!

Just the idea of Perry working on a podcast kinda gives us the creeps. We can just see him choosing what music to use as his intro - something by Toby Keith, I suspect. Or maybe Jerry Jeff Walker.

We were going to write something informative on the revenue cap bill, but then we realized we didn't have any idea what that meant so instead we just decided to poke fun at Craddick. Stick to what you know in a crunch, we always say.

The Statesman keeps saying that 'in a rare vote by Craddick' and after about the fourth time we read that on different bills this season we wondered: When does it stop being 'rare' and turn into a little too 'well done' for us to enjoy anymore?

The Natural Resources Committee is scheduled to meet Thursday to take up the Kinney County water wars some of you may have read about.

Jay Johnson of the West Texas Springs Alliance says:

The Dallas Morning News layout editor is hilarious. Check out why after the jump. Leave the humor to the drunk bloggers, DMN.
EDITED TO ADD: Contrary to what this guy thinks, we didn't use Lee Franke's (who the hell is that?) as a source for this scan, but nice to see a Fox 'news' contributor doing what we expect...not getting their facts right.

Off the Kuff links to a story in D Magazine that is a must-read. After reading the article, we are very glad not to live Midlothian, but certainly the residents of the town deserve better than to be inundated by harmful chemicals from cement plants.

Why we are linking to the story (with our added emphasis):

When the state Senate Natural Resources Committee held a hearing in Plano last August to address air-pollution problems in North Texas, I went and told them about TXI and Holcimâ??s efforts to avoid proper pollution controls. But the senators at that hearing did not consider Midlothianâ??s cement plants a problem for North Texas. They suggested I write state Sen. Kip Averitt if I had any concerns. I did. He never responded.

After telling Oâ??Leary and Frisinger about the hearing, I wrote an op-ed piece in the News. The column was titled â??Hearing or Farce?â?? and it prompted a call from state Sen. Craig Estes. After first asking me if I was recording the conversation (I wasnâ??t), he expressed displeasure with what Iâ??d written. He then asked me to join him on a tour of TXIâ??s new cement kiln, telling me it had state-of-the-art pollution controls. But I had been associating with radical environmentalists and the liberal media. I knew these were the same pollution controls TXI was fighting to remove. I sent Estes a letter accepting his invitation to tour the plant. I never heard back.

"It was called an overreaction, a knee-jerk reaction," King said.

Phil King has backed off his proposal to require steroid testing for high school kids. I guess somebody finally told him it would cost tens of millions of dollars and unless he was paying for it, nobody has any money.

Unfortunately, we think 'overreaction' and 'knee-jerk reaction' could be used to explain the vast majority of all legislation coming out of this session.

The DMN reports that there's a lottery bill we haven't seen yet. This one proposes that buying lottery tickets be easier than ordering online porn over the Internet. Rep. Uresti (D-San Antonio) is a supporter of the bill. Yo, Carlos...did you not listen to us or your party chair back in March?

Citing a decade-and-a-half of broken promises by legislative leaders that a state lottery would pay for public schools, Texas Democratic Party Chairman Charles Soechting today announced that he will ask the state party's executive committee to pass a resolution opposing the expansion of gambling in Texas.

Rep. Myra Crownover, R-Denton, said Internet sales are a bad idea because kids could buy lottery tickets. Ms. Crownover also saideasier access could fuel gambling addiction.

Statement after the jump.

Representative Coleman sends us his brief statement: Download file.

Representative Senfronia Thompson's speech on the Floor is also available here: Download file (The full text is also after the jump.)

Representative Anchia's Statement here: Download file.

LGRL Statement here: Download file.

Representative Farrar's office sends her speech to us. We thought she did a great job and her visual aid made a strong point about using the Bible for political agendas. We agree Rep. Farrar. . . the Bible we read says a lot about the poor, the sick, the less fortunate, but it doesn't say disenfranchisement or bigotry. Here is her statement: Download file.

In a 2 hour and 53 minute debate today the State House of Representatives voted yes on the hate legislation banning same-sex marriages. Read our live blog below. When the record vote is released call your legislator and thank them if they were courageous and voted the right way or if they were a bigot and voted the wrong way.

In case you happen to be a gay youth reading this post, or a gay adult Texan, we'd like to make this clear. THE STATE OF TEXAS HATES YOU, The State of Texas believes you are a threat to their families. PinkDome suggests you gather your belongings and leave.

We are sorta liveblogging here. We decided to go back in time and watch it again and live blog some of the 'debate':

HJR 6, the Constitutional Amendment to ban same-sex marriages is scheduled for the House Floor today. We went forward in time and obtained this exclusive transcript of the debates. Selected portions highlighted below:

Talton: Homosexuals are a threat to Texas Families, the homosexual agenda is an epidemic fueled by hollywood and liberal anti-Christian elitists.
Chisum: I don't know what makes people be homosexual but those kinds of people will ruin the sanctity of marriage.
Senfronia: You are idiots.
Hupp: Philosophically, I believe in the right to carry concealed weapons.
Keffer: I love my gay son, but I don't want to marry him.
Gattis: Legally, because as you know I am a lawyer, I believe the definition of marriage should be one man, one woman, or one man one mermaid but that is as far as my constituents will go in expanding the definition of marriage.
Villareal: Here in 1937 it's nice to see Texas being progressive.
Tatum: Warren, you look so nice today.
Chisum: You, too Bob. I think I love you.
Tatum: Will you marry me, Warren?
Chisum: I do.

The House adjourned to arrange a special committment ceremony between the two legislators. They are registered for gifts at International Male. (Sources say, Bob needs a new leather thong)

The Texas Legislature will most likely cut funding to about 680 libraries this session. Librarians rallied on the steps of the Capitol a couple of weeks ago, but you probably didn't see it or read about it. I had a hard time finding any coverage. Texas currently ranks 46th in the nation on library funding.

What we do rank high on is prison population. Depending on where you read it (and you should ask Grits For Breakfast for the actual fact), Texas prisons are between 95 and 99 percent capacity.

So, instead of having these big old buildings all over the place filled with books and periodicals, converting them to prisons is an obvious answer. These spaces could relieve the pressure on the Texas Prison System with minimal effort and expense to the state.

In addition, the long term and recurring cost savings of cutting public libraries completely from the state budget would offset initial conversion costs of these facilities and realize a cost savings within a few short years

Damn, we are so smart. It's not even 9 a.m. and we've solved two state problems. Who gives a shit about books anyway? We like putting people in the pokey. We're kinda confident we'll see a lot of the folks we are used to seeeing in the Pink Dome today we'll be seeing behind bars pretty soon.

There are 25 bills on the calendar for the House Elections Committee this Wednesday. Many of them address the voter identification, attempts to disenfranchise voters, violate the Voting Rights Act, and so on and so forth...

I'm just a bill.
Yes, I'm only a bill.
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting in committee,
But I know I'll be a law some day
At least I hope and pray that I will
But today I am still just a bill.
That's right, don't bother looking HB 1348 supported by over 90 Reps isn't on the calendar. Say what you will about Mary Denny (and we've got plenty to say) but she doesn't bow to public opinion, legislator support, media pressure, or what is good for Texas voters.

Happy Monday folks, it's gonna be a great week.

We understand that Phil King has instructed the State Affairs committee that he is ready to have his heineously mean parental consent bill voted out of committee this week. We've seen a committee substitute that he's come up with since the marathon hearing on 4/13-14 and it leaves those abused kids SOL. Orphans, likewise. So call your rep, if he or she is on the committee (you know who you are, District 134 constituents) and tell them to reject HB 1212.

Oh yes, and call your friends who are judges and tell them to get ready to be forced to decide whether "the abortion would be in the best interest of the minor" with the Republican party looking over their shoulder when the first Open Records Act request is filed to find out how well they toted the party line.

This legislative session ought to be renamed the Passion of the Idealogues. We haven't seen anything this graphic since the Jews killed Jesus in Mel's movie last year.

Talton's amendment to the CPS bill to ban homosexual and bisexual singles or couples from being foster parents sparked an uproar. Texas would be the only state to do so, and it would surely be yet another item the courts would have to later fix at a great cost to the state.

But, as we discuss this let's not forget the children. Those that right now are in a loving family environment that could be ripped from that environment and placed in a group home.

Let's put a couple of faces on this gay adoptive parents and see if you can spot the evil lurking in these photographs.

Funny, all I see is selfless people giving love and a home to children that don't otherwise have that in their life.

Gee, Talton that really does seem to hurt the children of Texas doesn't it?

It's Friday! I know this photo has made the rounds already, but we have not had the opportunity to have fun with it, yet. So, here we go...We unleash you to create your own caption in the comments section.

We have an update
What do you get when you have one Hispanic driving and SUV, some racial-profiling Kingsville Drug Task Force Agents, and video released to the media? Sen. Juan "Chuy" Hinojosa says you get retaliation for filing good sensical legislation by an out-of-control agency with no checks and balances.

That's right, folks. Sen Hinojosa, a longtime advocate to create meaningful legislation as it relates to reforming the agency and its drug stings.

Ah, the Kingsville Drug Task Force. Corrupt, ineffective, and retalitory. Unfortunately, in Texas that seems just about right, doesn't it?

We're behind you Hinojosa, give 'em hell. Or hell, just make them get fixed. We've learned a lot about the government and the agencies of the State this year. Every time we learn something it should not make us want to throw up.

Question: What agency governs the Kingsville Drug Task Force anyway? Rogue nowhere county without oversight??

Thanks to Grits For Breakfast being all over this.

Today is Earth Day (the 35th one, in fact). There are many events planned around the Austin area for the Earth Day weekend, such as park cleanups. We're not sure if the Lege has any plans set for Earth Day, but we can hope that at least it will get some lame mention on the floor sometime today.

Here are a list of events we found around Texas: Dallas, Houston, San Antonio. If you have other events in your city tell us in the comments.

Sen. Jane Nelson has said that she strongly objects to the Talton amendment in the CPS bill. "They are not going to kill my bill," she told the AP (FWST, bugmenot):

Nelson said part of her concern about the amendment was that a judge in Arkansas had declared that state's prohibition of gay foster parents unconstitutional.

Rep. Carter Casteel likes ants and gorillas. During the discussion on HB1006 and the amendments thereof, she has referred to the "gorilla" that is school finance, and just stated, "We're stepping on ants, A-U, A-n-t-s!" It just about killed us. Then she went and mentioned Aunt Susie. So maybe she did mean to step on aunts.

The House is currently discussing HB1006. We'd be paying more attention, but we are just not in the right mindset this afternoon. A tipster tells us this bill "has some feathers ruffled". Here's a segment of it, and let us know if you can translate it:

ROLLBACK RATE = ANY RATE EQUAL TO OR GREATER THAN (EFFECTIVE
MAINTENANCE AND OPERATIONS RATE x 1.03 [1.08]) + CURRENT DEBT RATE
- SALES TAX GAIN RATE BUT NOT TO EXCEED (EFFECTIVE MAINTENANCE AND
OPERATIONS RATE x 1.05) + CURRENT DEBT RATE - SALES TAX GAIN RATE

where "sales tax gain rate" means a number expressed in dollars per
$100 of taxable value, calculated by dividing the revenue that will
be generated by the additional sales and use tax in the following
year as calculated under Subsection (d) [of this section] by the
current total value

But the House Public Health Committee is meeting right now. Talking about minors and abortion. Fun, fun!

This bill they are discussing states that it "may be cited as the Woman's Health Protection Act." Ha!

What does a story in the New York Times about a U.N. nominee and an Ohio Senator have to do with Texas Politics? Stick with us and we'll make a great segue.

Yesterday Republican Ohio Senator George Voinivich, in a move to delay the vote on John Bolton for Ambassador to the UN sided with Democrats to put off a confirmation vote. Bolton's reputation as a bully, rageholic and serial abuser, not to mention a career enemy of the UN may come to be his undoing finally, due to Voinivich finding some cajones. What does this have to do with Texas politics? Come on, Texas Republicans (and shamefully a few of you fake Democrats). You CAN get a spine and stand up for what's right. Education, gay families, election reform.

Pick a topic and get a conscience.

It was February 10 when we first posted this photo of Mary "Mary Quite Contrary" Denny. She continues to live under the thumb of Craddick and keeps the campaign finance reform bill bottled up in the House Elections Committee.(DMN)

93 Reps have signed up to support the bill, hell why hasn't every one of them - because it obviously doesn't matter.

Well, it's up to the Senate now to strip the amendment out of the full bill. Otherwise, Child Protective Services is going to have to hire some full-time HomoInvestigators. Where can we apply? See how your favorite adulterer, hatemonger, idealogue esteemed legislator voted here.

The amendment that was heard round the world is mentioned and affectionately referred to as a big stinking pile of shit at BOR, 100 Monkeys Typing, Appalachia Alumni, Austin American Statesman, AAS Lasso, Dallas Morning News, Houston Chron, Grits For Breakfast and the LGRL Blog (if we left you out, add your link in the comments)...starting to get the idea that both the media and the fake media (see? we're self-depreciating!) think this amendment is a bad idea? It takes children out of loving homes, it has a huge fiscal note, it's a violation of the right to privacy, probably unconstitutional, and oh yeah...homophobic. Way to go!

update from Bluebonnet: Lasso is posting some e-mails he's gotten about the amendment. Good stuff.

The new "I Keep Safe" campaign to educate children about the dangerous Internet uses the governor's pussy in a story about Internet predators.

Rep. King received emergency consideration to introduce HB 3563 to mandate testing high school athletes for steroid use. Only trouble is, when the University Interscholastic League (the group that oversees high school sports) looked into the same thing, they quickly found out that the cost would exceed $60 million dollars.

Where did Phil get an extra $60 million dollars to dole out to the school districts? Oh, he didn't - he has no idea where the money will come from, he's just talking out of his enormous ass. Awesome.

Rep. Harold Dutton has a fetish for spanking children. He's introduced a bill to permit you to spank, too! (DMN)

Insomnia makes PinkDome smarter. Otherwise, we would have never seen the PBS Show on science. A segment on the show, NOVA, explained embryonic stem cell research and cloning. You can watch the segment online (click, 'Watch the segment'). You can take the survey online about your beliefs on stem cell research (click Should we allow cloning for stem cell research). Now, before you click on your answer, PinkDome would suggest you choose the decision opposite from the current belief. Why? Because each step of the survey requires you to read the opposing position before you proceed through the survey. Tricky PBS bastards!

Rep. Hupp had to stand up in opposition to Amendment 60(.pdf) that would prohibit homosexual or bisexual couples from being foster parents, even if they are a relative. Hupp said it, "pained her" to oppose Talton's amendment. She opposed the amendment because it has a HUGE packagefiscal note. This single provision would add about $8million in state expenses to investigate homosexual couples and would take kids out of 1,200 homes where they are now. This would also mean that if an employee of a group home center was gay or bisexual, potentially the entire group home would be closed and the children moved. (Uhm, there aren't enough foster parents to care for the children in the system today, without this amendment)

You can watch the 4/19/05 archived debate. It begins at 4:25 in the archived broadcast.

Villareal proposed an amendment that basically would include a 'don't as, don't tell' provision to prevent the CPS becoming the sexual orientation police. (Amendment to the Amendment FAILED, d'uh)

So, just so we are clear...Texas legislature does not care about what is best for a child, they care about making sure no faggot can be a selfless Texan citizen. So far: Hate 2, Good Legislation 0--Yes, we are keeping score.

Update: LGRL Statement in the comments.

SB 6 is on the House Floor. Rep. Hupp offered an amendment to increase the marriage license fee by $15. Senfronia Thompson just walked up and said, "So, you're raising the cost on marriage licenses by $15?" and Hupp replied "Yes." Senfronia looks at her dead in the eye and goes, "Tax Bill." and walked from the back mic.

A Little Pollyanna led us over to this quiz to determine what global religion category our belief system was most aligned with. (One in which ending your sentences with a preposition is encouraged...obviously)

Anyway, we're totally Christian y'all. Proving that hatemongers like Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, Jerry Falwell, and the rest of the Republicans do not own God.

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com
With our Christianity affirmed by an Internet quiz, look for us to dispense wisdom from the mountaintop and condemn those that offend our Righteousness.

Rock on, Jesus. We got you.

While we totally respect all the other fake religions, we really only condemn the ones that think politics and Jesus have anything to do with one another.

Rep. Charlie Howard's "Ode to Censorship" bill HB 220 is scheduled for a hearing today at 2 p.m. in the Public Ed Committee.

Chris Bell alerted us with this excerpt from a press release:

HB 220 would effectively repeal legislation passed in 1995 to prevent the State Board of Education from censoring content in Texas textbooks. This bill would permit SBOE members to insert their own political agenda into our kidsâ?? textbooks.

What exactly have the textbook censors objected to here in Texas?

• The scientifically established timeline of the creation of fossil fuels was rewritten to conform to Biblical timelines;
• Coverage of slavery and civil rights was downplayed because critics deemed the discussions unpatriotic and anti-Christian;
• A line drawing of the female breast intended to instruct young women to give themselves cancer self-examinations was censored as â??embarrassingâ?? and â??objectionable,â?? as were discussions of menstruation; and
• Critics testified that evolution â??relies largely on faithâ?? because it â??cannot be conclusively proven.â??

On the schedule today before the House: HB137. Inside the Texas Capitol has posted on this bill which will make our Texas welcome signs say, "Drive Friendly--The Texas way"(emphasis added for ridiculousness) and "Welcome to Texas--Proud to be the Home of President George W. Bush." (again, emphasis added). We agree with imasuit when he/she states:

I wish I could propose an amendment to say: "Proud to now be the Home of Connecticut-native [President] George W. Bush," or "Proud to be the Vacation Home of President George W. Bush."

Our neighbors in Oklahoma City were ushered violently into a world the rest of us would not come to know until 2001. Do you remember that day? Do you remember not being able to understand? How? Why?

I remember the people's faces, I remember looking at the building and my eyes growing wide in shock and disbelief.

What a long 10 years it has been. Now, every American can imagine bombs in buildings. We may be a country divided on a whole host of issues, but today I am reminded that we are all of the same heart. The American heart, one that can bring us together and heal us and fight for us, and like the dysfunctional family we are, make us madder than anything else.

Like all family, we come together in a crisis.

Today, the message I'd like our leaders to send out to us is the message that instead of working towards selfish political goals, take a second...and think. Remember, we're all in this together.

Ok. Sentimentality break is over. My pill is wearing off so back to bitchy in twenty minutes.

In response to news about Perry lining up lobbyists to launch a campaign against Republicans that voted the wrong way on the tax bill. Why would Perry go after them in their districts?

The DMN does a great job of lining up the Republicans responses and they read like shocked teenage girls expressing their disbelief that their boyfriend has, like, totally ditched them at the dance.

Stranded at the drive in, branded a fool. What will they say Monday in school?

HB 3314 would require the State to filter the wifi access at all State owned properties, except Universities. So, it's ok for students to look at Internet porn, but not the rest of us?

Besides porn and email what good is the Internet, anyway? Oh Betty, here you go again.

(via BookBlog)

Nice try, Greg. Having staff post glowing reviews on craigslist has to be some sort of ethics violation!

Texas Attorney General does recover child support
Reply to: anon-68596540@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-15, 3:22PM CDT

The AG's office did recover my child support for me and I am not on any public assistance. [rambling removed, included after the jump] AND the money now goes through the AG's office so they will take immediate action if he stops paying again.
* this is in or around S. Austin
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests